Education EducationGasm

There’s a Tumblr Where Women Explain How to Make Them Come

By on December 28, 2015

hCMtsa0

Image Credit: Imgur

Ever wish that women would just give you a play-by-play of what they want from sex? Or tell you, honestly, what they desire? Well, your wish has been granted.

How To Make Me Come is a Tumblr where women submit posts explaining their individual perspectives on sex and what they want — with post titles including “Kissing Me Will Make Me Feel Like I Am More Than a Vagina (Which I Am)” and “Act Like You Enjoy It. Wait, No. Actually Enjoy It.” The writers are very real and open, and the posts provide quite the education on the dynamics of female desire. In “There Is Nothing More Damning Than You Ignoring The Most Sensitive Spot on a Woman,” the author straight up lists all of the things that she wants and what not to do. Can’t get much more explicit than that:

I had a boyfriend for three years who could never make me cum. Let me tell you why.

  1. He felt like he was already a master of sex: Please don’t take me saying I’m not there as if I am saying your dick is the size of a penny and you couldn’t put it in a coin slot if you tried, let alone find it. My body is different than the 3 or 30 other women you’ve banged. Believe it or not, you have to charm a vagina before you master it.

  2. Yes, I’m faking it: If you haven’t tried talking to me or let me talk to you about what feels good and what just feels like biology then yes I’m on stage and I am slaying this death scene.

  3. He thinks “using toys” actually means,  “trying a threesome”: Nope. A dildo and another woman are not the same thing. Believe it or not when a woman wants to involve toys it’s to research her pleasure, it’s not to emasculate you.

  4. He goes to an ice cream parlor and the only flavor he tries and then orders is… vanilla: Sex takes work. Missionary is sometimes just a mission. Throw me around like a rag doll, please. Hold me down or press me up against something. Tell me what you want or I’ll tell you what I want. Just don’t think sex is a routine, because honey, no one sees Phantom on Broadway unless they are broke and from out of town FOR A REASON.

  5. Don’t make the pussy sleep outside because she’s an indoor cat: Love the vagina. There is nothing more damning than you ignoring the most sensitive spot on a woman. I’m not a video game, I don’t have buttons, I’m a book dammit and you better learn to read and turn the pages.

  6. Use more metaphors.

  7. He makes me feel silly for being “wild”: Perhaps I’m alone in this but I WANT to be described as wild. That term does not mean I’m crazy or needy or weird. If I’m drunk and want to get freaky then get on board. This is our time to be careless and free, you old man full of farts and regrets! (Whoa, we took a dark turn there. I swear I’m past this)

  8. Saying “You look nice” is as if you are talking to your grandmother or your kindergarten teacher, not the girl you are trying to fuck: I deeply appreciate adjectives. It may sound archaic but saying something hot, not to be confused with saying something deep, helps.

  9. He doesn’t take the hands on approach: To put it lightly, put your hands all over me, up me, and around me.  Take as much time trying to make me feel good as you would trying to hold and eat a sandwich that’s too big for your hands and mouth.

  10. He’s not sexually compatible: Wake up and smell the conspiracy. For too long, I tried to think that it was my fault. That something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t old enough, or in touch enough, or experienced enough to know what I needed. And it was partly my fault. I wish I had spoken up.

 

Got any sex advice of your own for lady-lovers? Leave them in the comments below.

  • Mike Thomas

    I’m extremely oral fixated. Here’s my take. When I first take a woman to bed I let her know exactly what I think, if she hot I tell her. Beautiful then the same..I begin with her forehead, working my way down, the whole time one hand is finding her nipples and lightly playing..The lower my lips get, the lower my touch goes. I use a light touch until I feel her shudder, hey it may tickle and that’s my tell to change to just a bit harder touch..I don’t want them to laugh! I’m also telling her I’m about to send her into a place she’s never been before. Many times I’ve had them answer back, sure..some say no way..even had one that told me straight up she hated oral. But I’m still going there.
    Short off note…WOMEN..Yes we enjoy a bit of pheromones, but let’s be real..a quick clean is great.
    By the time I get there my fingers have already found the spot..my fingers have eyes connected to my tongue. Time for the treat. I suffered an injury some time back that had me down and out except for fingers and tongue, so I learned well. I begin by lightly kissing and licking that little boat. Her moans guide me and I don;t mind being told right there. Reach on down and hold my head still if you want. But..I can feel the tension hitting so then I work a little more and let her fun begin. When she calms down I’m still there because this rides not over by far. I can’t see inside but I’ve learned by feel just where to place a finger or two as I repeat my tongue work..maybe a bit different touch this time but I’m working that G spot, softly at first and as I feel her contractions bui;ding from deep inside I place my fingers into overdrive and my tongue flattens out…and she has the rolling internal G Spot orgasms as well as clitoris orgasm all rolled into one finale!
    I’m not bragging, I know I’m not the only man that cam do this but this takes more time than men know. When you have a lady that’s had plenty of experience at age 48 ask What the hell did you just do because that was so fucking good can you make me do that again?” all without a pause…or one 26 that her whole body went numb and couldn’t even walk for a few minutes…They come back each time..Oh they all want cock guys…But if you talk to women that have had this treatment just once, they’ll tell you this and this is each and every woman I’ve had the pleasure of doing this with “In all my times fucking, from little cocks to huge ones, from guys that could fuck for hours, I’ve never in my life had an orgasm as strong as that, ever.” I even had one lady I met and did this with almost 15 years ago ask me recently “Are you still as talented as you were back then…” and an hour or so later as she climbed into her car to head home to the man in her life..telling me, “Not only as talented but even more so..” Ahh I love my oral fixations!!!

  • April Welsh

    Too many people, doctors articles claim some women can’t have orgasms…and it is a ‘known’ condition. B.S., it is likely she doesn’t feel comfortable teaching her partner what she likes. She is probably taking the hit so his ego doesn’t have to. He already thinks he knows what he is doing and if she tries something else, he makes her feel unwelcome for it. There are a LOT of ways to feel pleasure. If love is present, two people can experience amazing things. A woman should feel safe and treasured, on a whole in order to find her deepest pleasures. Or, if she is lucky, she can just take what she wants, like a man, without any further thought. By today’s standards, that is healthy.