Do I Have a Spacious Vagina?

Image courtesy of www.vintag.es

A boyfriend once told me that I had a spacious vagina.

Okay, he didn’t quite say that his penis hears echoes in my cavernous cunt, but he did say something along the lines of how I would feel his dick more if my vagina could be more, uhm, accommodating.

I have good relationships with a number of ex-lovers, so I immediately phoned a few and polled around. Was my pussy really a place where penises go when they need to feel alone, or was it just his penis?

And then I asked myself, is it ever okay to talk about the size of a vagina?

People wax poetic about how big, or small, a dick needs to be in order to be “good enough.” There’s an annual small penis contest in Brooklyn to honor the runts of the litter, and there’s a fetish known as small penis humiliation. But I’ve never heard of a large vagina contest, or a fetish around large vagina humiliation. And sure, I used to sit around with my girlfriends discussing the size of last night’s conquest, but we never EVER discussed our own internal areas.

I’ve heard that certain ethnic vaginas are smaller and tighter than their Caucasian counterparts. I’d seen the videos too, the ones where ping pong tournaments are played without paddles.

Even with years of doing kegels; one thing was certain: my pussy could not compete with those balls of fury.

I began to wonder if my first boyfriend had ruined me for the men to come. He and I had been together for years, and he had an extremely gifted member (at least in terms of size). The thing I regret most about that dick was that I didn’t understand its magnitude at the time. And since it was my first penis, I had no idea how large he actually was. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that most dicks weren’t that long, or that thick. We were together a long time (like years) and I was wondering if he stretched me out for all the other snakes that would charm their way into my basket?

Once my pencil-penis boyfriend said something, I couldn’t stop thinking about size. I asked some girlfriends. Only one other had a similar experience with too much room at the inn.

Is it such a bad thing to have a vagina eight miles wide? A lot of women need space to push a big-headed baby out of their canal, which is exactly why I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to get pregnant. I feared childbirth would give me an even larger vagina than the spacious one I may already have. If my partner couldn’t find the friction in our fucking, then I worried that we would never have anything but air sex again.

Sure, it’s probably one of the most vain reasons ever for not having a child. I had even told myself if I did get pregnant I would have a C-section because I didn’t want to change the size or shape of my coochie. During pregnancy I learned about the benefits of having a vaginal birth and changed my tune on that scheduled C-section. So, when my daughter literally flew out of her birth canal, aka my vagina, I was relieved that the worst was over and the damage, well, whatever the damage, it was now done.

I got lucky, like “winning the lottery” lucky. I didn’t need stitches. I’m convinced that this is because without any pain medications I could deliver any damn way I wanted, so I chose to deliver on all fours.

Still, the healing hurt and for the next six weeks, while I waited to get the okay to do “it” again, I wondered how different I would feel, both to myself and for my partner. I’m happy to report that a) he says my vagina isn’t spacious and b) he says it’s no different than before. Part of me doesn’t know if he’s just being nice. With all the other bodily changes I’m still hanging onto (like the literal hanging stomach), I’m not convinced that all is the same in Snatchville.

It’s really hard to know the size of a woman’s vagina based on her height, weight or any other physical characteristics. Nor can you tell the size of her vagina based on the number of children she’s pushed out of it.

One friend of mine, a guy who recently had sex with a mother of one and (on a separate occasion) a mother of three, told me that the mother of one’s pussy was rather loose, while the mother of three’s pussy was super tight. He couldn’t believe the difference – one was like a ballroom and the other like a boa, able to constrict his penis so he could barely thrust.

A majority of men and women haven’t thought about, or don’t care about, the size of a woman’s vagina. Of course, two people can be completely incompatible — which is why the Kama Sutra has names for three types of vulvas and three types of penises.

When I talked to Bruce, the creator of the We-Vibe, he explained how he used molds of over 20 different vaginas to shape the first We-Vibe (a piece of vibrating coupledom for the masses.) He wanted it to fit as many vaginas as possible.

For those concerned about vaginal size, my advice is to use it, instead of lose it. The vagina is a muscle, and without use, it will lose some of its elasticity. As Tantra expert Suzie Heumann says, “More orgasms = tighter yoni! Why don’t we teach kegels to EVERYONE?” Suzie suggests doing kegels like you would meditation. If you’re like her, that would mean with intent and on some sort of schedule. If you’re like me, that would mean that you do it haphazardly, and only when you find the time, or you actually remember to squeeze and release. But she is right: the benefits of kegeling include stronger orgasms, less incontinence and the ability to have a ninja grip on his dick.

Whether you practice your kegel exercises, or not, vaginas, like penises, are big and small and in between. If sizes don’t match, then there can be some problems. But vaginas also have some “flex” in both directions. As my friend Sean points out, “Vaginal muscles can tighten, and the vagina is elastic in nature. Generally speaking, it does snap back when volumetric capacity is tested.”

Pregnancy tests this volumetric capacity. But when it comes to vagina size and having a baby, it seems you just won’t know until you go there. Some new mom friends even claimed their vaginas have become tighter than before they were pregnant. When I suggested it could be from the stitches, one of them said, “Originally I thought it might be the stitch job, but the tightness is really all the way through and not just the labia.”

That’s another thing. Labia. It seems more women are concerned with their lips rather than their vagina. The size of those inner labia are more often a cause of concern than the hole picture. And I don’t mean to leave you hanging, but that’s a topic for another time.

Does vagina size matter to you?