Experts & Friends

Got a Minute for Quickie Sex?

By on September 1, 2013

Sex Educator Megan Andelloux takes some time to explain the importance of quickie sex.

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In our fast-paced, smartphone-focused, constantly buzzing world, great sex and chemistry can fall by the wayside. Sometimes it seems like nobody has time for anything but technology, work and working out, when, truth be told, if we all made a little extra time for sex, we’d be doing a great service to our mind and our body.

Consider this. If you want more spontaneous sexy time you should really think about redefining what sexy time means. One of the main problems I see is that we too often define sex as requiring penetration. That means, to have sex, someone has to insert something into someone else.

Friends, that is a very limited approach to what sex is.

While engulfing someone’s cock, fingers or store-bought objects into your body can make for awesome sex, let’s be real, you can’t do it all the time. Maybe you are tired, maybe you have limited time, maybe you just don’t feel up to it. If you redefine what sex is, you still have the potential to put spontaneous pleasure into practice.

For instance, sex can be…

fingers stroking the clitoral hood

a cock (store bought or biologically attached) being greeted by an eager tongue

an enthusiastic “YES!” spilling out of a person’s mouth over the phone at the start of

an awesome dirty talk session

a vibrating toothbrush

an orgasm experienced by delightfully grinding against your partner(s)

the shower faucet

an anus quivering in anticipation of the sensations it is about to receive

an email painstakingly detailing a fantasy of a future promise

a fast fondle

couch cushions

a quick peek of the genitals or a nipple

a thumb firmly stroking down the seam of a pair of pants

Let me guess: you found yourself recalling one, two or all of these acts with a smile on your face, but never thought about counting them as “real” sex? I like to call them “quickies,” because they are sex acts, sometimes they’re just sex acts with time restraints.

Stay with me for a minute.

A quickie means finding ways to bring sexual friskiness into your life on your schedule. It’s sex that works with your relationship, your body, your likes and your turn-ons, all in your time. A quickie is a crucial building block of good sex, swallowed in bite-sized quantities. It doesn’t have to look a certain way or follow a particular pattern–it doesn’t even need to include orgasm or touching! Reformatting our thinking beyond penetrative sex allows us to have the sex we want to have, whenever the moment strikes. And in today’s fast paced world, valuing the quickie, in all its lovely incarnations, can be a way to ensure a satisfying sex life even with a busy schedule.

Opening ourselves up to the possibilities of having different types of sex—some of which are outlined above and so many more waiting to be dreamed up—allows us to create more euphoric experiences in our lives. Quickies help to form our sexual muscle memory. Quickies help build our fantasy rolodex, and serve up saucy memories for future inspiration. Quickies get us out of our sexual ruts, and connect us to our partner(s). Quickie sex is so important, yet we too rarely take it seriously.

We all deserve sexual pleasure even when we are short on time, and a quickie is the perfect way to seize those often otherwise missed opportunities. Carpe quickie!

When and where did you last have a quickie, we’d love to know!