Valentines Day

Rant On — Valentine’s Day

By on February 13, 2014

Got a Valentine’s Day rant to unleash? You and Earl Douglas have something in common.
dead cupid

When asked about giving my feeling towards Valentine’s Day, I couldn’t wait.  I wanted to unleash this extended and highly bitter tirade about how this one day epitomizes everything that is wrong with relationships. I was going to spew acidic vitriol on how truly fake, false and shallow the day is. I was prepared to go into the history of this super manufactured “holiday” that actually isn’t a holiday at all.

Several days passed.  Then a week. Drafts were written, drafts were discarded.  A few edits, a few re-writes. It got me wondering that maybe that I could be wrong.  After all, it is the one day to express your most honest and open feelings about someone you truly care about, right?  It is the best day to clear the air and seal the deal on where you stand with that significant other, right?

Then I remembered an old Southern saying:  “I should’ve followed my first mind.”  It basically means that the first thought you have on something is usually the best.  So I’m going with my first line of thought.

Valentine’s Day SUCKS.

Who in the blue hell mandated that February 14th — smack dab in the middle of the coldest, most drab month in the year — is the day that I have to express how much I love my companion?  Who mandated that I must wear that itchy, uncomfortable red… anything?  Or have to buy the overpriced card?  Or the fat-cell-building chocolates?  Or blow three digits on roses that will be dead and wilted within a WEEK?

God help you if you’re single.  If you’re single and trying to find someone and, for whatever reason, just can’t find the right person, or just ended a relationship, here’s my advice:  Go into your room.  Lock the door.  Find something, anything, to get you through the next 24 hours. Because if you do go out, you will be reminded EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY of just how single you are.  The commercials, the lovey dovey posts on social media, the sea of red, the blizzard of heart shaped EVERYTHING, the annoying balloons, the cards, and the overtly public displays of affection can make a single person want to pick up a blunt object and bring out the red in an entirely different context.

Valentine’s Day, more than Christmas, puts your relationship to the test — especially for the dudes.  Can you say STRESSFUL?  You have to find the right card, present, candy, pick the right spot with the right table, select the right movie, the right flowers, the right clothes (and it better be red – -ugh), on and on and on.  Not too much pressure!  If one thing is off you’ll be spending the next 364 days hearing about it, or worse, going through the hell of spending the next Valentine’s Day as a single person.

Here’s my suggestion: everyone should blow off Valentine’s Day.  Tell Hallmark, florists, restaurants, red clothing makers and anyone else who pimps off February 14th to go kick rocks.  Pick a day — any day of your choosing outside of February 14th —  to tell that special someone how much you love them and appreciate them.  Don’t buy a card — write one yourself.  Something from the heart.   In fact, don’t pick a day — say it everyday. Then you won’t need the pressures and the headaches that come with Valentine’s Day.

It’s all about love, isn’t it?

What do you love about Valentine’s Day?