Where Have All Our Kisses Gone

By on March 6, 2015

Source: Flickr user 2rokbotoy

Source: Flickr user 2rokbotoy

“Where have all our kisses gone?” I ask my partner of three and a half years.

He smirks slightly, and I know the question makes him uncomfortable. I want to kiss all the time — and he doesn’t want to kiss much at all.

When we first met, we couldn’t keep our tongues off each other. And now I can remember only one time (last year) when our tongues were in each other’s mouths.

He tells me he doesn’t like when I try to thrust my tongue into his mouth. And while I know this is a bad plan for getting my kiss on… it’s also my only plan these days.

I’d like to blame this kissing decline on us having a child, but I’m not sure that blaming my daughter is fair. Sure, having a baby changes things, but I know of many relationships where children haven’t impacted the rate of tongue jousts. The sad thing (and happy thing, too) is that I kiss my daughter all the time, and I give her all my love. But that’s more sad in the sexy department than it is happy for my relationship. 

So, while I continue to hope that my partner and I find our groove, I am also aware that this lack of intimacy is taking a toll on our relationship.

I have friends who hate to kiss each other. Like, seriously HATE it. They had a bad first attempt and then decided they loved each other but never needed to do a tongue dance in one another’s mouths again. They kiss on the lips, but not in the mouth.

That’s not me. More than anything in this world, I love kissing. It was the first intimate act I spent time perfecting. Since I was 11 years old, I could kiss for days on end. I didn’t need to see a penis to get turned on; all I needed were some plump, pink lips. And for years, all I needed was the kiss. Kissing is a huge a part of the turn on. Without it, I can easily be turned off.

When I talk with friends, I don’t feel as alone. We’re not in our 20’s anymore. Heck, not even in the beginning of our 30’s! And maybe this is just what happens to relationships that aren’t built on the strongest of foundations. Or maybe it happens to all relationships to some extent. For most people I talk with, the longer they do the relationship, the less they do each other. Still — I don’t want to be a part of that statistic. 

The truth is: I’m all dried up. It sucks not sucking face.


How often do you suck face with your spouse or partner?